Kasi and I were out and about in Portland today. Visiting breweries, shopping, etc.
The day was drawing to a close and we were on a mission to visit the ocean before returning home. Walking down to the water, we passed two girls who were sitting on the grass hanging out.
Upon reaching the ocean and touching the water (naked!) our mission was complete. However, I had yet to make eye contact with anyone today. I decided to approach the two girls and ask them to participate. Kasi accompanied me. This was the first time I approached more than a lone person and also had company with me.
"Ahoy!" I called out to them.
(Recollection of conversation in quotes below is imperfect, but should be pretty close.)
I give my usual introduction, directed at both girls but not at one of them in particular. This time, I ask if either of them would be interested in participating. The girl on the left responds immediately, so she's the one.
This time, unlike previous times, I have my explanation of the actual guts of the eye contact portion ready to go. I tell her how it works:
"I have a timer. It's set for 60 seconds. I'll start the timer, and it'll go off when the 60 seconds are over. During that time we'll sit and look at each other without speaking or looking away. Afterwards, we can talk about it. Or I can just disappear."
I ask her if she still wants to participate and she says "yes." I set the timer and we begin.
Observations from this session include: her eyes are brown; her hair keeps blowing in her face over her left eye; I mostly look into her right eye, though I do pay some attention to her left eye; I do not notice her changing which of my eyes she is looking into (I think she looks into my left eye the whole time, but cannot confirm this; before the experiment she mentions that she may look away a few times - however she actually does not; around (I think) 40 seconds in she begins to laugh, and we both laugh.
"That was intimate," she says after the timer goes off. "I almost kissed you."
I smile and say that I agree, it was intimate.
Next I move on to phase two and explain to her how I ask participants if they are willing to let me use their name and photograph on this blog as I document my experiences. She consents!
Kasi and I try a few attempts at taking her picture. However, the lighting is bad, and she isn't pleased with how the pictures are turning out, so we decide to let her image remain a mystery as far as this documentation is concerned.
By the way, her name is Olivia, and her friend's name is Zowie. (Not sure on Zowie's spelling.)
Zowie asked me about the purpose of the experiment. This time I talked about how it's an exercise in having interactions with strangers that quickly go off script (the "script" being topics like "what do you do?", "where are you from?", etc.), how I want to see what happens in those situations, and how that's when more vulnerable, and thus more authentic, interactions happen.
Interestingly, I've already noticed that, while the role that other participants in this experiment play is off script for them, the role that I play is increasingly on script. How I approach people, the structure of the experiment, and what I say to guide the interaction and establish that structure, is becoming increasingly scripted, refined, my words chosen very carefully.
I say that perhaps what I will focus on when my role becomes more scripted, established, and familiar is the fact that I am providing an unusual, unexpected, surprising, intimate experience for a stranger.
(I wonder if I will begin to experiment with alternative scripts to see if they lead to alternative results as the experiment matures?)
It's time to leave our two new friends. I give Olivia the URL of this blog. I wonder if she'll check up on it?
Before leaving, I ask Olivia if she'd like to share that kiss she mentioned, 'cause I'm game.
Alas, she has a boyfriend.
Shucks.