I approach the coffee shop and see a girl sitting outside at a table by herself with her headphones in her ears and looking at her phone. Immediately, I know this is the person who I will ask to make eye contact with me today.
After ordering my coffee, picking my seat, and writing a leave-behind, I collect my journal, camera, and timer and walk outside to greet her.
"Hello," I say. She greets me back.
I decide to change my introduction a bit today.
"I would like to invite you to participate in an experiment."
"Every day I ask a stranger to make eye contact with me for 60 seconds. Is this something you'd be willing to do with me?"
She looks a bit puzzled. I think maybe she is confused, or doesn't understand. Perhaps it's just taking her brain a little extra effort to process my unusual proposal.
"60 seconds?" she asks. From her accent I guess that English isn't a native language for her. Since I think we may have a language barrier to overcome I sit down in the other chair at her table and explain the proposal differently.
"I have a timer," I say, showing it to her, "and when I start it we will make eye contact - look at each other. We won't look away, and we won't talk. We'll do this for one minute. Okay? Want to do it?"
"Okay," she says. I check to make sure that she won't be looking into the sun. Our positioning looks good. So we begin.
I feel immediately relaxed and happy that she has consented. Her eye contact is steady, constant. I sense that she is relaxed, too. A few times during the session I am aware of the changing shape of my mouth. A smile, blank, pressing my lips together, relaxed. I notice that her lips are doing this, too. A few times she smiles. I also smile once or twice. A subtle laugh just past the midpoint, just an exhale through the nose and the slightest vocalization. Her eyes are very dark. Brown I think, but very deep. It's difficult to tell the difference between the iris and the pupil. I think I can see the outline of a contact lens in her left eye, but I am not sure. If other participants have been wearing contacts, I haven't noticed.
The timer expires and we're done. After a brief pause I introduce myself, shake her hand, and learn her name: Manami.
I recognize this as a Japanese name and ask if she is Japanese. She says that she is. I say a few sentences to her in Japanese. We talk about Rilakkuma, who I am carrying with me today. I point to my table where his head is sticking out of the top of my backpack. I'm way out of practice speaking Japanese, but I can say my most practiced words and expressions. It goes well and I'm glad I tried.
"The other thing I ask my participants is if I may use their first name and their photograph on my blog where I am writing about my experiences. Is that OK? May I use your name and take your picture?"
"Yes," she says.
I tell her that I'll give her a leave-behind with the blog URL where she can read where I write about our experience and the experiences I've had with other people, too.
I take her picture
and I hand her the piece of paper with the blog URL on it. She takes it and holds it in her hands, playing with it throughout the rest of our conversation.
I tell her a little about my time in Tokyo earlier this year and ask her about her life. Manami is a university student from Yokohama. She is living in Victoria for one year and studying at UVic as part of a foreign exchange program.
I write her name in my journal in English and in Japanese (hiragana) to make sure I have it right. I also write my name on her leave-behind in katakana. After encouraging her to study hard (「がんばって！」), thanking her for participating in the experiment, and wishing her a great day, I walk back to my table and write this post.