I walked into the local sandwich shop and ordered my lunch at the counter. During that time I scoped out the place. There were three people in the dining area, each sitting alone. A woman reading a book, another woman eating her lunch and not reading, and a man in the back who was using his cell phone and not eating.
The women, especially the one eating and not reading, would have been easy to ask. But I've done that.
So after I completed my transaction at the counter I immediately walked over to the man without giving myself time to reconsider.
My memory is fuzzy on what exactly was said. Anyway, here is what I recall from our interaction:
"Hi. Sorry for interrupting your testing." (I meant to say "texting" and corrected myself. Was just a tad nervous, but not much.)
"I'm doing this life experiment in which, every day, I ask a stranger if they will make eye contact with me for 60 seconds. Is this something you'd be willing to do with me?"
He agreed to participate.
(Holy shit it worked! That was surprisingly easy. These things tend to be like that. I know it, and prove it time and again after making jumps like this, but it's easy to forget. The buildup before the experience is way overblown compared to the actual experience. Getting pierced is like this, too. I think we tend to do this when we anticipate vulnerability and/or pain coming, whether it's physical, emotional, whatever.)
He asked me if the eye contact needed to be unbroken, and I said yes. I was already making eye contact with him (as I do) and he asked me if we had started already. I said no, that I had a timer, and we could start now. We did.
He asked if it was OK to talk, and I said it's better if we don't, but it's OK if we do. He seemed a bit nervous. He looked away a few times, and remarked on that when it happened. We talked a bit during the experience. He told me it felt strange. He seemed happy and his eyes were alert and smiling. I remember them being light blue.
I think the 60 seconds went by very quickly. I forgot to ask him what he thought.
Afterwards we talked a bit about the experiment, specifically my past experience with these kinds of interactions, and what's motivating me to do it. (More on that in a different post.)
Then I went for the next level: the question that opens me up to rejection again. I explained how I am documenting this experiment and would like it if I could use the first name and a photograph of each participant in my documentation. I asked him if he would be OK with this, and he said "yes" again! So I took his picture.
This is John.
John, thank you for participating in the experiment. It was a pleasure to meet you and make eye contact with you. See you around the sandwich shop!
I feel awake. I feel alive.